Friday, January 25, 2008

Stop The Wars Between The Sexes

“I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage.”
--Will Rogers

Whether realize it or not, divorce is a war in which neither side can win!!! There are no victors among the main combatants in this war….only losers.

Only the sponsors of this war---the legal industry---will reap the rewards of the spouses struggle between themselves.

Waging war can be no more successful than the rim of a wheel fighting against the spokes and trying to break apart from the wheel to be independent of the spokes. One cannot operate without the other. It defeats the plan of nature and the inter-relationship of the Yin and the Yang. (See
definition by
clicking here.

The Yin and the Yang are inseparable and each one defines the other just as the night defines the day. If there were an absence of night or day, how would we know that the other even existed?

Governmental interference has contributed to the fallacy that the rim can operate independent of the spokes by facilitating the process. They do this by allowing the rim to separate from the spokes through a dissolution procedure while requiring the spokes to continue to provide support "known as "alimony" for the rim, frequently on a lifetime basis. This is an illusory solution to an ill-conceived concept called “No Fault Divorce.”

No fault divorce might have solved the problems for a few unfortunates marriages, but in the long run, the far reaching effects of the resulting "marriage strike" are resulting in the destruction of the institution of marriage in America not to mention being a multi-billion dollar cash cow for the legal industry. More on these subjects can be found in earlier posts.

Wars result in casualties. Finances are one of the casualties, but there are others. Some divorces and breakups are so traumatic to some that they incite some spouses to acts of violence…even homicide. Bureau of Justice lists statistics on homicide by "intimates" (ex-spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend).

The combatants are not the only casualties of this war. Whether you realize it or not, the children of the warring spouses comprise additional major collateral damage leading to the further destruction of the future generations of married couples and families.

“Divorce is most likely to wreak havoc when spouses declare war on each other and draft their kids.” --Constance Ahrons.

For now, this brief post concerns itself with a plea to all marriedcouples to face your responsibilities and work together, as adults should. Learnto work out the problems in marriage that most couples face rather than seekingshelter in a ruinous and destructive accommodation called no-fault divorce. Doing so begins the “war” in which neither side can win and the only one to benefit will be the legal industry facilitators, proponents, and supporters of this war.

If the situation exists where you both don’t feel you want to stay married, but do not want to go to war with each other, an alternative to the undesirable adversarial process is called a "Collaborative Divorce." For certain couples who would like a peaceful, no-court, less
expensive, asset saving divorce, it would be definitely worth looking into. Check out the following:

Locations of Collaborative Professionals
International Academy of Collaborative Professionals. Information on the collaborative process.

Collaborative Divorce Net


* Fairy tales for single chicks

* The Perceptions Reality Blog seems to sum up the position of men, in the
marriage strike, in a recent post. Click here.


* Man must pay alimony to wife despite her domestic partnership


* India’s Instant Divorce

* Moms Can Be Deadbeats, Too." Fox News article.

Be sure to visit these sites:

Participate in our Forum discussion group:

Join the Alliance For Freedom From Alimony, Inc. to support the fight to abolish alimony.